nama om visnu padaya krsna-presthaya bhutale
srimate gunagrahi das goswami swamin iti namine
srimate gunagrahi das goswami swamin iti namine
nama om visnu padaya krsna-presthaya bhutale
srimate bhaktivedanta swamin iti namine
namaste sarasvate deve gaura-vani-pracarine
nirvisesa sunyavadi-pascatya-desa-tarine
My dear Spiritual Master,
I offer my respectful obeisances unto His Divine Grace Srila Gunagrahi Goswami, who is very dear to Lord Krsna, having taken shelter at His lotus feet.
I offer my respectful obeisances unto Srila Prabhupada's most humble servant, who is the ocean of all best qualities and whose mercy awakens love of Krsna in the hearts of all conditioned souls.
On this most auspicious day of your Vyasa Puja please accept this short story that I am dedicating to your lotus feet.
I Am Made Of Your Mercy
I woke up in something that seemed to be an old rotten half-broken boat. Ominous blackish clouds, heavy with rain, cumulated angrily over my confused head and dark-green waves of a vast sea rolled the boat violently from side to side. I did not know who I was, where I was, nor how long I was drifting on those dangerous deserted waters. So many questions filled my head and there was nobody to answer them. I felt lonely and absolutely terrified of the unknown that lay in front of me.
As days passed, my boat was sinking more and more. I could hardly keep up with throwing out the water that was gathering during frequent storms. Tormented by winds and unmercifully lashed by rains the boat was gradually crumbling into pieces, leaving me with no illusions about any betterment of my miserable situation. How long was I to survive? One more storm and I would be left with no vessel, forced to trust the questionable strength of my own arms. Was there an end to that ongoing suffering? Was there anyone who could rescue me from that horrible condition, that by no means could be called LIFE?!
And there he appeared, in the middle of another violent storm - a long-awaited savior, the friend of the distressed, compassionately giving hope to any castaway he met. Giving hope to me. At first he was just a dim light, a tiny point shining through the thick wall of pouring rain, a mere dot dancing miles away on the inky waves of the raging sea. He was so far that he seemed almost unreal, but after all, was there anything around me that seemed real? I was in an unending nightmare that I wanted to escape from and that small light gave me enough excuse to do so. Without thinking any longer I forced my weak muscles to move and I tried to row whatever was left of my boat toward the dancing point. But the task was not at all easy. The huge waves were tossing the boat up and down, playing with it like with a dry leaf, covering it with gallons of water and forcing it down – closer to the bottom of the untamed sea and farther away from the desired help. When I lost the sight of the light, I lost any tinge of hope I had ever had for the rescue. As mylungs were filling with salty water, I surrendered my exhausted body to the fierce waves. Slowly the sea closed over my head and I was inevitably sinking in its pitch-black depths.
And then it happened! I suddenly saw a warm brightness coming from above. I felt a strong hand reaching out to me and mercifully pulling me out of the icy-cold waters. “Am I already dead ?” I asked weakly. “No, you aren't,” I heard a deep soothing voice, ”Now you are more alive than you have ever been before.”
When I regained consciousness, it turned out that I was on a beautiful big boat, surrounded by bright smiling faces of some friendly people. Among them I noticed a tall man, called by them a Sailor. He was very much different from the others, though. His face was peaceful and grave, his look somewhat distant but happy. He was surely NOT from this world which was full of pain and distress only. “Who is that effulgent personality?” I wondered. He looked at me smiling, his eyes filled with unparalleled compassion, and said softly: “You don't have to be afraid any more. You are safe now. I finally found you and I will never let you go again. If you stay with us, I will take you to somebody who will lead us back home.” Home… this word sounded familiar to me. Is it really true? Is it at all possible that I, a pauper, an insignificant worm crawling in the gutter of this horrible prison house, could be taken HOME?! How extremely wonderful that person must be to be willing to do THAT?!?! And how unfortunate I am to have nothing to repay him with. With a great pain in my heart I fell at his feet and cried: “My lord, I am just a beggar looking for a shelter! I own nothing. How will I ever repay you for your immeasurable kindness?!” “You do not have to give me anything,” he answered, ”However, if you still want to do something, please, dedicate your heart, mind and words to helping other people similar to you, just as I helped you.”
And so I did. I stayed on the boat and together with the other castaways, saved earlier by the Sailor during his long journey, I was learning how to rescue other poor souls lost somewhere in the sea. It was a hard but rewarding job. A job that was not only bringing us closer Home, but, more importantly, it was drawing us closer to our savior, as whatever we were doing was pleasing to him. In exchange, he was telling us all those great stories of his own savior whom he called the Captain and who knew the way to our final destination – a wonderful place named Home.
The End
My dear most Guru Maharaja, I am that lost soul drowning in the ocean of repeated birth and death and you are the Sailor – my eternal rescuer. Due to your love and compassion you mercifully saved me from my abominable life, and navigating swiftly through the rough waves of material existence, you are leading me to Srila Prabhupada – the Captain, and ultimately, you are taking me back Home, back to Sri Krsna's lotus feet. I truly thank you for that:
“I am made of your mercy
That falls like a rain
And I pray that one day
My own heart of stone
Will crack open
Revealing a majestic throne.
That you will enter my heart
Sit there in your place
To Your Divine Grace…
Again and again
I am left on the floor crying:
Thank you Guru Maharaja,
Thank you again and again…!”
Please, kindly forgive me any offences that I may have unknowingly committed towards your lotus feet.
Servant of your servants,
Bhaktina Dorota
Polonia
